


I'll Taste the Devil's Tears

by NobodyBreaksMyHeart



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Alternate Universe - Time Travel, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Author is a Tag Whore, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Ben Solo is like Freddie from Skins (UK), But forget what you know about canon, Doctor Who References, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Romance, F/M, Feels, Fix-It of Sorts, Fluff and Angst, Force Bond (Star Wars), Force Dyad (Star Wars), Friends to Enemies, Implied/Reference Rape/Non-con but NOT REYLO, Implied/Referenced Underage Drinking, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, Inspired by Skins (UK), Jedi Ben Solo, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Kylo Ren Needs a Hug, Kylo Ren Redemption, Kylo Ren and Rey Are Not Related, Kylo Ren is Not Nice, Kylo Ren is just Kylo Ren, May the Force Be With Us All, Maybe some wibbly wobbly timey wimey, Mutual Pining, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pining, Possessive Kylo Ren, Post-Canon Fix-It, Post-Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Preteen Rey is Angsty, Protective Ben Solo, Protective Kylo Ren, Redeemed Ben Solo, Rey Needs A Hug, Rey is like Effy Stonem from Skins (UK), Reylo - Freeform, Reylo Tropes Galore, Sort of..., Star Wars References, Supreme Leader Kylo Ren, Tags Are Fun, Tags Might Contain Spoilers, Teen Angst, Teen Romance, Teenage Rey is a Mess, The Author Regrets Everything, The Author Regrets Nothing, The Force, They gotta go through shit and put each other through shit, This story shall have ALL the tags, Time Travel, Time Travel Fix-It, Yes Ben and Rey in relationships with other characters, Yes this is a Reylo fic just not right away, You may hate me sometimes, Young Ben Solo, Young Rey, reylo is endgame
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-12
Updated: 2020-03-19
Packaged: 2021-02-19 11:34:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 15,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22176907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NobodyBreaksMyHeart/pseuds/NobodyBreaksMyHeart
Summary: The Orb of Passage is what Maz called it. Cold to the touch. Brighter than the sun. And the only known object in the history of the universe with the power of time travel. Located inside a cave on an unknown planet in the furthest reaches of unchartered space. It had taken three long years, but Rey had finally found it. And she was going to use it to fix everything. But more importantly, she was going to use it and bring back Ben. Consequences be damned.OrRey grows up in present day Tennessee as visions from either a past or future life collide with her current reality in the form of Ben Solo through some weird mental phenomenon called The Force.
Relationships: Ben Solo/Original Female Character(s), Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Original Male Character(s)
Comments: 14
Kudos: 37





	1. She's not crazy; He's no ghost

**Author's Note:**

> I know there are a shit ton of Reylo stories written by much better authors than I. But TROS broke me so hard I decided to attempt to fix my wounds by contributing to this amazing fandom/shipdom. Just a few things:
> 
> \- Previously titled "Like a wall of stars, we are ripe to fall" because I found a song I liked better as a title theme (More on that later)  
> \- There will be time travel/timeline hopping/reincarnation vibes  
> \- Please read with an open mind. I am not super familiar with the Star Wars universe as a whole (just what I've seen in TFA, TLJ and TROS as well as searches on Wookiepedia...) so I'm making it AU in order to take liberties with characters/backstories/timelines/events while still using elements from those movies.  
> \- There may not be any smut only because I am really bad at writing it lol but that could always change...  
> \- The age difference between Ben and Rey starts off at 5 years (It was hard for me to write them using the canon 10 year age gap for the first part of my story, but the 10 year age gap will get visited in later chapters)  
> \- This will have a happy ending and Reylo is endgame. But you may hate me for a while because the Reylo dynamic is beautiful as much as it is fucking painful *Shakes fist at the TROS ending* Plus I love me some drama and angst so get ready =P  
> \- Read the tags for more insight if you wish ^^
> 
> Now I will stfu and let you read, if you so choose :D

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter may be slow since I'm mostly trying to summarize Rey's childhood in a modern age as well as the first few times she interacts with Ben so please bear with me!

The first time she encountered him she was ten.  
  
Rey was doing back handsprings down the hall again, her nanny Helen chasing after her. “Miss Rey please! If you don’t slow down, you might break something else!”  
  
The aspiring gymnast had a habit of practicing her tumbling anywhere other than the in home gymnasium. On numerous occasions, she broke one of the many things around the vast manor she lived in with her father that _“cost a fortune”_ and _“could never be replaced”_. She didn't understand the man’s fascination with these old relics and artifacts that made their home seem like a museum. They lived in a private estate nestled in the Great Smoky Mountains thirty five miles outside of Gatlinburg, Tennessee. All the main areas of the three story structure had floor to ceiling windows providing beautiful views from almost anywhere in the house. Their closest neighbor was a good twenty miles away in any direction. Take into account the narrow winding mountain roads and potential for bad weather and the commute anywhere was always long.   
  
On rare occasions, Helen would take Rey into town for shopping. And when the weather was really good, they’d go to Dollywood or the national park. Besides gymnastics, Rey’s favorite thing to do was explore. As she wandered through heavily wooded areas (Helen never that far behind), Rey pretended she was on a secret mission to save the solar system from evil aliens. Rey’s childhood was full of happy memories. She traveled the world with her parents due to her father’s job as a real estate tycoon. Despite being an only child, she never felt alone as long as she had her parents and Helen. Helen was their full time live in maid and nanny who came along on trips to help with Rey. The two formed a sisterly bond. Those were happier times when life seemed perfect. But all that changed when Rey was six.  
  
Her parents were involved in a car accident that killed her mother and left her father more broken on the inside than the outside. After he healed from his injuries, he began to withdraw from Rey’s life. Rey was too much like her mother. Her hair. Her skin tone. The light freckles that scattered like constellations across her face. Her hazel eyes full of compassion and wonder at the world around her. Her dimpled smile. Her contagious laugh. And other small things like the way she’d tilt her head to the side when she was confused or contemplative. It hurt him too much to look at her. So he poured himself into his job and stopped taking her on his many trips out of town.  
  
Despite her father’s absence in her life, Rey never wanted for anything. She had the best private tutors for her schooling and gymnastics instructors that money could buy. Her playroom resembled a large toy store with all the latest and greatest. Her bedroom was decorated as though she were a princess who lived in a kingdom far, far away. Her ceiling was painted like a vast night sky. Swirls of black, blue and gold created galaxies and solar systems decorated with colorful planets and silver stars. Sometimes, Rey imagined she lived in another galaxy in another time. Especially in those quiet moments when she realized how alone she actually was. How unwanted and unloved she felt.  
  
Helen caught up with Rey at the end of the hall outside her father’s private study. Behind her was a console table with a large vase from Rome teetering precariously near the edge. Before Helen had time to react, the vase fell and shattered into pieces on the marble floor. Rey's eyes filled with tears. She'd done one handspring too many.   
  
“It’s fine…it’s fine,” Helen dropped to her knees wrapping her arms around Rey. That was the thing about Helen. Even when Rey made a mistake, she never once lost her temper. She never talked down to Rey and always made sure they were eye level. “It’s been three weeks since you’ve stepped foot outside this house so I think a trip into town would be good for you. So I'll get this mess cleaned up then we'll go.”  
  
Rey nodded and Helen kissed her on the forehead before hurrying off in search of a broom. Kneeling down, Rey started to carefully put the bigger pieces of porcelain into a pile to help make Helen’s job a little easier. It started to rain beating lightly against the window. Rey loved when it rained even though it meant their trip into town would be delayed. She walked over to lean her forehead against the cool glass.  
  
That’s when she felt it.  
  
A sudden jolt of energy pulsing through her. A flash of blue across a previously unknown plane in her mind. It gave her such an immense headache, she gripped the sides of her forehead and cowered to the floor. There was lightning, but she didn’t hear the thunder that followed. In fact, she couldn’t hear anything at all. Not the rain. Not the grandfather clock to her right. Not even her own heartbeat. It was as if the entire world had gone silent. The headache subsided and Rey stood. When she turned around, her eyes widened.  
  
There he was.  
  
Across the hall and floating in midair. Sitting in a meditative pose with the same look of bewilderment she had on her face. Rey rubbed her eyes a few times and blinked several more. But he never went away. He was blue and glowing. Slightly blurred like an unfocused picture. His face was angular with hair that fell just below his ears. A small braid was over his right shoulder. It looked out of place being longer than the rest of his hair. His eyes studied her curiously. His nose was maybe just a little too big, but there was something else about him... Something familiar… A sudden onslaught of emotions swept through Rey that made her want to scream and cry all at the same time. The boy opened his mouth to speak just as Rey panicked. She grabbed a nearby candlestick and threw it. He fell back, putting his hand up to stop it as it sailed right through him and landed with a loud **_BANG!_** on the floor.  
  
“Rey what was that??” Helen came rushing around the corner with a broom and dustpan in hand.  
  
“I – I saw – h – he was –” Rey sputtered, pointing down the now empty hallway.  
  
She could hear the rain again. The thunder. The ticking of the clock. Her heart pounding in her ears.  
  
Helen looked at her strangely. “Are you alright?”  
  
Rey lowered her arm and nodded. “Yeah I just…I really need to get out of the house."  
  
She helped Helen clean up the broken vase, all the while wondering if the boy floating in midair were real or a figment of her imagination. Believing it to be the latter, she decided to forget it ever happened.

* * *

She’d had vivid dreams before. Usually they ended up as nightmares. The kind that had her waking up at odd hours screaming. They started after her mom died. A child psychologist would later say it was a coping mechanism. But Rey somehow knew it wasn’t. She always felt like she was having an out of body experience watching an older version of herself in battle. She never saw faces. Just hooded cloaks that covered identities. Blurred surroundings. Flashes of red and blue. So much death and destruction.  
  
_“Dreams and nightmares may seem real, but they aren’t," Helen would say. "They’re just realistic tricks of the mind. Nothing more."_  
  
But she was wrong. What Rey saw when she was sleeping wasn’t just the product of an imagination running wild. These dreams and nightmares were some unspoken truth Rey had yet to figure out. Just like the boy she’d seen in the hallway.  
  
There were times, though very few, that her dreams were simply just dreams. Rey would find herself walking an invisible path through a dark sky without stars. Wisps of blue energy flowing all around her. Calling out to her. Dragging her closer towards whatever she was walking into. She always felt more at peace in whatever dreamworld this was.  
  
It changed slightly after she saw him. She was no longer wandering alone. There was a shadow beside her. Just out of reach. The wisps of energy more powerful and brighter than hers, swirling around like a soft breeze. She didn’t know who or what this shadow was to her. Just that having it close made her heart soar and made her feel safe. Protected. That she wasn’t alone. Something she hadn’t felt in a long time.

* * *

It would be two more weeks before Rey saw the ghost boy again. She’d convinced herself that’s what he was. A ghost or a vision. Either way, he wasn’t real.   
  
She was laying on her bed staring at the ceiling. It was another lazy rainy day at home. Helen was busy doing laundry downstairs. Rey’s father was off on yet another business trip. He’d stopped in for a few days prior but mostly spent time in his study with the door closed. Rey respected his privacy and gave him space. He left before she woke up without even a good bye note. Rey tried not to let it bother her even though deep down it hurt immensely.  
  
The familiar jolt of energy pulsed through her at the same time her head started pounding and all surrounding noise faded away. Rey swore she was going crazy, because she’d been hoping for this. To see him again. And now here he was. At the end of her bed in that same meditative pose. But this time, his eyes were closed and his brow furrowed in deep concentration. Rey stood and cautiously walked closer to him. This time, he wasn’t glowing or blue. He actually looked normal. His hair was black, a stark contrast to ivory skin. Rey stared at him intently willing him to open his eyes.  
  
“Are you a ghost?” she said quietly.  
  
His eyes shot open and locked onto hers. For a moment, Rey couldn’t pull away. His eyes were a shade of brown she’d never seen before. They seemed to hold every emotion possible the longer she stared. She also saw galaxies and stars. There was a sense of familiarity neither of them understood, but both of them felt. Carefully, Rey reached out and her hand went right through him.  
  
“You _are_ a ghost!” she jumped back.  
  
“I assure you I am no ghost,” he said with an annoyed tone. “What are you doing in my room?”  
  
“This isn’t your room,” Rey frowned, tilting her head to the side. “This is _my_ room! So what are _you_ doing in it?”  
  
He looked around with a confused frown. “Can you see my surroundings? I can’t see yours.”  
  
“What can you see?”  
  
“Just you,” he shrugged.  
  
“Same. Who are you?”  
  
“Ben. Who are you?”  
  
“Rey,” she started to walk in slow circles around him. “You must be some type of…of hologram.”  
  
Ben rolled his eyes. “I assure you I am no ghost or hologram. I am just as real as you are.”  
  
“No you aren’t,” Rey shook her head. “You aren’t real. None of this is. Any moment now I’m going to wake up.”  
  
Ben shifted uncomfortably. “Would you stop doing that?”  
  
“Doing what?”  
  
“Walking around me like that. It’s unsettling.”  
  
“ _That’s_ unsettling? Try having some strange guy you’ve never met just randomly showing up in your house. By the way, I get these massive headaches every time you do show up. Any idea why that happens?”  
  
“You feel it too? I suppose it’s because you’ve not channeled The Force before. That happened to me early in my training.”  
  
“The Force?”  
  
Ben sighed and rubbed his forehead as though she were giving him a headache. “Simply put, The Force is the energy that connects all things and is the reason I’m able to communicate with you. You called out to me.”  
  
“I…called you? How could I have called you when I don’t even have my own phone? Besides your name, I don’t actually know who you are let alone what your phone number is.”  
  
“It appears as if you’re force sensitive but have no idea the rare power you possess,” Ben meant to keep that to himself but said it out loud anyway.  
  
“Power?” Rey snorted. “Like a superhero? So am I like Supergirl or Wonder Woman? Either way, that’d be awesome.”  
  
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”  
  
“Wow. Someone grew up under a rock.”  
  
“No, but I can move rocks.”  
  
“Okay,” Rey laughed nervously. “I think now would be a good time for a nap.”  
  
She threw herself facedown on her bed. Ben looked at her for a few moments before rolling his eyes and disappearing. When she could hear the rain against her window again, Rey knew he was gone. She flipped around onto her back and stared up at the ceiling. The planets and stars seemed to be pulsating as though they were alive. And she remembered his eyes. How they seemed to hold whole universes. How they seemed to pull her in…  
  
“You are losing it,” Rey said to herself.

* * *

A few days later, Ben showed up again. Rey was sitting on the porch swing reading Alice in Wonderland. When everything fell eerily silent, she shut her eyes and welcomed the headache like a pain inducing friend. It always subsided once Ben appeared so for him, she'd endure it for a few minutes. This was the first time she saw him standing up to his full height. He towered over her and she wondered just how old he was.  
  
“Fifteen,” he answered when she’d asked him. “How old are you?”  
  
“Ten. You're really old."  
  
Ben ignored her last remark and looked around. “I still can’t see your surroundings.”  
  
“Likewise,” Rey said as she tried to resume reading.  
  
The words on the page were blurring together no matter how hard she stared or how close she held the book to her face. Finally, she set it down and watched Ben. He was still looking around as though trying to make sense of the surroundings he couldn’t even see. Rey caught sight of the braid swinging around his right shoulder.  
  
“So what’s with the braid?” she asked.  
  
Ben looked at her and instinctively reached up to touch said braid. “It’s a symbol.”  
  
“A symbol of what?”  
  
“At my school, braids are worn by everyone who isn’t a Jedi.”  
  
“What’s a Jedi?”  
  
“You ask a lot of questions,” Ben raised an eyebrow.  
  
“And I’m just getting started so the faster you answer, the less I’ll have to ask.”  
  
Ben knew trying to explain exactly what a Jedi was would be difficult since she was so young and clueless. “A Jedi is a knight.”  
  
“So…you wear armor and have a sword?”  
  
“Something like that.”  
  
Rey nodded thoughtfully. “And how much longer until _you_ become a Jedi?”  
  
“It depends on how quickly I can pass all the necessary lessons. Then I’ve got to get through the trials. Once I get through those, I will be officially recognized as a Jedi Knight.”  
  
“Sounds so medieval. And not at all real. I mean I feel like you’re real. But you’re not. You know?”  
  
Ben shook his head, slightly confused. “No I don’t think I know.” He heard someone calling to him and sighed. “I’ve got to go now.”  
  
“Already? You literally just got here like five minutes ago," Rey laughed a little. Her tone sounded more needy than she intended. "Will you come back?”   
  
“Do you...want me to come back? You said it yourself. I’m not real.”  
  
“Well yeah but…it’s been nice having someone else to talk to.”  
  
“What do you mean?”  
  
“It’s just…I feel so lonely sometimes,” Rey looked down at her book, inwardly cursing herself for the tears filling her eyes. No way was she going to cry in front of him.  
  
Ben watched her. The way she clenched her fists with her head down. Her face hidden behind a curtain of brown hair. She was trying to shrink into herself. Trying not to cry. He recognized it with pained realization. It’s the way he’d felt a good majority of his life. Lonely. With nobody to talk with that actually cared. Rey's signature had such a strong magnetic pull it had been hard for him to avoid it. They were somehow connected. Similar in feelings and thoughts. There was more on that invisible plane where only he and she seemed to exist but he had yet to figure out exactly what it all meant.  
  
He was being summoned again and he should’ve been more thrilled. Her name was Delphine. Someone he had admired from afar since they were much younger. But Ben's uncle - Master Luke - fully believed in the Jedi Code's call for zero emotional or romantic attachment. Ben had been fine until recently when Delphine started showing an interest in him. She was the only other person in his life besides Rey that made him feel less alone. But Delphine's signature in The Force wasn't nearly as strong or bright as Rey's and bounced around recklessly. And at sixteen, she was behind in harnessing The Force the way her peers had that were similar in age. Ben shook himself out of his thoughts then looked back at Rey, who was still curled into herself, hiding her face from him.   
  
“I’ll be back,” Ben finally said. “I’m not sure when, but I _will_ be back. I _promise_.”  
  
"You don't have to if you don't -"  
  
"I want to," Ben insisted. "Talking to you also helps me not feel so unimportant and alone."  
  
Rey smiled and it warmed parts of his soul that he hadn't realized were cold. Then Rey's smile quickly turned into a smirk. “See you later then Benny Boy.”  
  
He briefly shut his eyes. He hadn't been called _"Benny Boy"_ since... “Please don’t call me that.”  
  
Rey was hiding her laughter behind her hand. But her hazel eyes sparkled and her dimples were showing. Ben couldn't help but smile himself. The first smile Rey had seen from him. It wasn't a big smile. In fact, if Rey were looking away or blinked at that exact second she would’ve missed it. The corner of his mouth going up just slightly. He regarded her with a curt nod before disappearing. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you made it through the first chapter - yay thanks :D Kudos/comments appreciated <3 Just be nice =P 
> 
> The second chapter should be posted within the week ^^


	2. Dream Boy and Little Queen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is longer than the last one because:
> 
> A. I have a tendency to word vomit  
> 2\. I didn't want to split it into two chapters since I liked the flow of it being one big long ass chunk of text
> 
> I rewrote it multiple times *facepalm* so I hope this final final final final final draft isn't completely horrible but I make no promises.

The first time their surroundings became visible to each other Ben was in his room. It was small and simple with minimal lighting. There was a twin sized bed, side table with a lamp, a desk and chair, bookshelf, wardrobe and another door that led to the bathroom which Ben referred to as a “refresher”. The walls were white and bare except for one floor length mirror. The only “window” was a small skylight on the vaulted ceiling. His room was nothing exciting or out of the ordinary, but Rey still looked around in awe.  
  
“Virtual reality,” she said, exploring his space with her eyes since she wasn’t physically there.  
  
Wherever Rey was located reminded Ben of Takodana. There were mountains covered in lush green trees spanning for miles in every direction. The clouds were hanging low casting everything in a hazy white mist. Then there was the massive structure that was Rey’s home. Built out of cedar wood and stone with many large windows. It was comparable in size to the academy where Ben lived.  
  
The ground was muddy from a previous storm and another storm loomed in the distance. But that didn’t stop Rey from playing outside while Helen took a nap. There was a plastic crown on top of her head, her brown hair fell to just above her shoulders. In one hand she held a plastic scepter. Her tennis shoes were covered in mud and sank into the ground with each step, but that didn’t seem to bother her.  
  
“I’m going to call you Dream Boy,” Rey pointed her scepter at Ben as though it were a sword.  
  
Ben raised an eyebrow and moved back a little. “Why? My name is Ben. And I'd much rather you call me that.”  
  
Rey made a face. "But ‘ _Ben_ ' is so...boring."  
  
"Gee thanks. ‘ _Rey_ ’ isn't much of a name either." He smirked as she stuck her tongue out at him.   
  
"Whatever. I'm calling you Dream boy and you can’t stop me."  
  
"How did you come up with that anyway?"  
  
"Well I mean…you’re a dream and a boy. _Duh._ ”  
  
“Then I’m going to come up with a nickname for you."   
  
Rey rolled her eyes. “Whatever. Stop distracting me. I’ve got a war to fight.”  
  
She then proceeded to lead an invisible army into battle. In her mind, they were fighting an unseen evil trying to take over the peaceful kingdom she created. This was the first time Ben witnessed her tumbling skills. She did various sequences of handsprings, aerials and flips. She brandished the scepter as mud flew everywhere. Everytime she slipped and fell, Rey would jump right back up and attack her unseen foe with a growl and renewed wave of strength and determination.  
  
The longer Ben watched her, the more everything around them started to change. In his mind, she was on an actual battlefield covered in dirt and blood splatter. But she kept fighting with her teeth bared, determined that she would win or go down fighting her hardest. Like a vision, he could see what looked to be an older Rey holding a lightsaber striking down evil droids and stormtroopers. And she wasn’t fighting alone. Beside her, there was someone…someone who reminded Ben of himself. But he wasn’t completely sure as his visions would always start to distort and blur at this point.  
  
This wasn’t the first time he’d seen them. This was one of many visions he’d seen since coming to the academy. And it was always these two fighting alongside each other. Sharing some kind of strong connection that seemed to grow even stronger in battle. Ben was brought out of his thoughts by Rey’s triumphant cry.  
  
“We won!” she did several handsprings until she was standing right in front of him. Her breathing was labored, hair a tousled mess around her face and sweat dripping off her brow. She frowned a little when she saw the look on his face. "What's wrong?"  
  
"It’s nothing," Ben said quickly. "I've come up with a nickname for you."  
  
"What is it?" Rey asked skeptically.  
  
"Little Queen. Because you're little and a Queen."  
  
Rey considered this before nodding. "Fine. _Dream Boy_. Call me what you want."  
  
"So what happens now Little Queen?"  
  
Rey looked behind her at the dark clouds and sighed. "Looks like rain. I guess I'll have a shower, eat and do my homework. You?"  
  
"Probably some extra training."  
  
"Well don't hurt yourself or anyone else."  
  
"I won't," Ben smiled a little. "Same time tomorrow?"  
  
“See you then Dream Boy."

* * *

Talking to Rey became a regularly scheduled thing for Ben. Just like training, eating and sleeping. Their conversations over the next several months evolved significantly and sometimes even lasted hours. Ben learned the best time to get in contact with her was at night when everyone around them had gone to bed. Rey always fell asleep before her did, but he kept the connection open for longer because he liked being in her presence even if they weren't talking. He always felt lonelier and colder somehow without her. But that also meant he wasn’t getting enough sleep.  
  
He started showing up late to classes and training sessions. On occasion, he would miss them altogether. Sometimes he'd skip meals in favor of napping. Delphine was beginning to worry about him, but he assured her he was fine and just had a lot to study. Luke was getting suspicious and tried many times to get a read on him through The Force. But Ben was so good at building up impenetrable barriers that Luke still had no clue about Rey.   
  
Ben and Rey’s conversations covered every subject they could think of. School. Friends. Acquaintances. Enemies. Hobbies. Likes. Dislikes. It didn't take long before they felt like they’d known each other all their lives. Rey was like the little sister he never had while Ben was like the older brother she never had. They’d seen each other at their best and their worst. He always knew how to make her smile and laugh when she was sad. She knew how to calm him down and keep him from acting out when he was angry. They were the perfect balance for each other.  
  
Eventually their conversations led them to talk more in depth about their families. It was then Rey realized what Ben had known all along. Just how similar they both were. That they both felt abandoned at an early age and they both sought to belong in a universe that made them feel unwanted, unneeded and unloved.

* * *

Sometimes, they sat in silence.  
  
Because sometimes, that’s all either of them needed.

* * *

One night, when Rey had fallen asleep mid conversation, Ben kept the connection open so he could watch the rain falling outside her window. And he remembered how it happened. The events that led him to finding Rey's signature in The Force.  
  
 _After yet another grueling training session in which he’d let his anger get the best of him, Ben was harshly rebuked and sent to his room for the remainder of the day to meditate. It wasn’t the first time this happened. In fact, he’d lost count of how many times he’d let his anger fuel him during training, leaving injured classmates in his wake. He was always several steps ahead of everyone in his use of The Force. _He learned quickly how to harness it's power – how to manipulate and control not only the world around him but his peers as well. His thirst for knowledge and power grew to dangerous levels the more he learned._ That’s why his parents sent him away. They feared the kind of power he possessed.  
  
It had been a long time since anyone had shown the kinds of Force capabilities Ben had. His parents hoped that by attending his Uncle Luke’s Jedi Academy, he would learn to control it, but it had only gotten worse. They conspired to drive it out of him eventhogh they knew it would be near impossible. __But Luke wasn't ready to give up and vowed to continue teaching Ben to stay in the light and avoid the dark at all costs. They knew one day Ben would realize the full potential of the power running through his veins. And it would be several years before Ben knew the complete truth about his lineage._  
  
 _Despite his hardened exterior, inwardly Ben had always felt an overwhelming sense of loneliness. Growing up, his parents avoided spending too much time around him because they feared the darkness that was slowly growing inside of him. Unintentionally, they had created a hole in Ben's heart from the love and acceptance he craved. It was this unbearable loneliness that turned into the unbridled fury that fueled him. Then one day when he was exploring the jungles surrounding the academy, a voice called out to him. It was unsettling, but appealed to the darkness within. The anger and bitterness that coursed through his veins. It told him he was destined for greatness and that the academy was just a tiny stepping stone to ultimate power over all. It made him feel so invigorated. To think that he had the power to bend galaxies to his will._  
  
 _One night, the voice of the dark called to him when he’d had a particularly rough day of training. He nearly sliced another padawan in two but Luke had intervened. Now Ben found himself confined to a hut separate from the main building. It was guarded by some type of force field that would alert Luke and the other Jedi Masters if he set foot outside. In his anger, Ben had decided tonight was the night. He would allow the voice to finally lead him to his greater destiny. He was ready to be rid of everyone and everything and rule the galaxy._  
  
 _But as soon as he closed his eyes and focused, he saw it. In the back of his consciousness. A new blank plane in the dark recesses of his mind that he'd never seen before. That’s where he saw Rey's signature. So clear and bright and warm. It called to him, easily drowning out the other voice that had taken up residence in his mind. The moment he entered her plane, he felt it. She was just as force sensitive as he was. Just as powerful. Maybe even more. But she had no idea._  
  
Now it had been almost a year since their first meeting in the hallway when Rey threw a candlestick at him. Their connection had only grown and intensified since then. It was stronger than any connection Ben had felt in his life. He didn't want to remember what life was like before Rey. She brought out the best in him and had so far kept the other menacing voice from his mind. Around Rey, Ben felt true peace and belonging. And he never wanted that to go away.

* * *

One night, Ben didn’t show up when he normally did and Rey tried not to worry. It wasn’t like him to be so late. Helen had long since gone to bed and Rey wasn’t going to sleep without talking to Ben even if it was just for a few minutes. So she laid on her stomach reading a Nancy Drew book. It was raining heavily outside but the thunder didn’t bother her as much as it normally would have. She knew as soon as Ben arrived, it would stop. Sure enough, at around midnight the sound of thunder and rain faded into the background as Ben appeared somewhere to her left.  
  
“You’re late, Dream Boy,” Rey looked at him and frowned. He was standing there with a dreamy far off look in his eyes. A tiny goofy smile on his face. His lips were a little swollen and his hair was messier than normal. Her eyes traced down to his neck where there were tiny bruises taking shape. “What’s with your face? And what the hell is on your neck?"  
  
“Nothing, I just…training,” Ben ran his hand nervously through his hair and sat down on his bed.  
  
“Training? I thought you’d already done your training for the day and you don’t have anything after dinner so…?”  
  
“We did some late night training. Uncle Luke thought it would be good for us.”  
  
“Your entire class?”  
  
“No. Just me and Delphine.”  
  
Rey didn’t like the way her heart twisted when he said that but she pretended it didn’t bother her. He'd mentioned Delphine before, but Rey had always shrugged it off as nothing. That Delphine was just a good friend. His _only_ friend by the way he talked about her and hardly mentioned anyone else. Ben deserved and needed a good friend. But tonight something was different.  
  
“Why just the two of you?” Rey asked, looking back down at her book.   
  
“Delphine needed some help with her technique. And I’m his best student so I helped her.”  
  
“But he knows sometimes you get a little aggressive in your training. Did he supervise?”  
  
Ben laughed a little as he laid back against his pillow staring at the ceiling. “We’re old enough to train without Uncle Luke breathing down our necks. And besides…I would never hurt Delphine no matter how angry I’m feeling.”  
  
Rey was thinking maybe she should have just gone to sleep. Her signature in The Force always told Ben if she was busy or asleep and he would stay away. But Rey would’ve felt awful avoiding him. But she also knew he was keeping something from her and she wasn’t sure if it was something she wanted to know or not.  
  
“So how was your day Little Queen?” Ben broke the silence and turned his head to look at her.  
  
Rey shrugged, still refusing to look at him. “It was okay, I guess. Typical Saturday spent at home. It rained pretty hard all day so we didn’t go anywhere. I did work on tumbling with a quarterstaff like you suggested.”  
  
Ben smiled. “And how did that go?”  
  
“Well at first Helen was confused why I wanted to practice tumbling using a long stick. She was afraid I would poke myself in the eye or break something.”  
  
“And did you?”  
  
“No. It was actually kind of fun,” Rey smiled in remembrance.  
  
Helen’s face cycled through a myriad of emotions watching Rey doing her gymnastics routines using a quarterstaff. But surprisingly, it felt like second nature to Rey and somehow she made it work without hurting herself or anything else.  
  
“I knew you’d be able to do it.” Ben smiled.  
  
Rey finally looked over at him. She was thankful that he was looking at the ceiling again. Normally alone in his room without their connection, he’d be staring at a tiny skylight. But whenever he’d visit Rey in her bedroom, he laid down so he could see her ceiling. The one with painted galaxies and star systems. He always wondered where exactly Rey was. He’d poured over scrolls and did many searches on his datapad to no avail trying to figure out where “Tennessee” or the “Great Smoky Mountains” were. He was beginning to wonder if they were made up places just like the kingdoms she pretended to rule over.  
  
“What’s on your mind Dream Boy?” Rey cut into his thoughts.  
  
Ben looked over at her with a small smile. “Delphine kissed me.”  
  
Rey couldn’t stop the frown on her face. “How did that go?”  
  
"Well...it wasn't just a kiss. It was more like making out."  
  
That explained the marks on his neck Rey now recognized as hickeys. And she only knew what those were because that had been part of a very uncomfortable talk she'd had with Helen at age eight.  
  
Rey made a face. "Sounds gross."  
  
Ben laughed. "Well it was anything but. She was my first.”  
  
”Your first?”  
  
“ _Kiss_ ,” Ben emphasized. “My first… _kiss_. That’s all. Nothing else happened.”  
  
“I wouldn’t want you to tell me even if it did.” Rey's eyes were wide.  
  
More memories of that awkward talk involving hickeys and the Birds and the Bees came flooding into her mind. She shuddered slightly.   
  
“What about you?” Ben broke into her thoughts. “Have you had your first kiss yet?”  
  
“Seriously? I’m almost eleven. Not old like you are.”  
  
“I’m not that old.”  
  
“Older than me that’s for sure. And who would I kiss? I don't really have friends. I don't hang out with anyone besides Helen. I don’t go to public school. I take my lessons alone at home.”  
  
“I know that, but sometimes you go out and –“  
  
“There’s no one,” said Rey, glumly. “And besides, I’m too young for that mushy stuff. Boys have cooties.”  
  
“I never had cooties.”  
  
“Sure you did. All boys do. Some men probably do, too.”  
  
She was very aware of the fact that neither boys nor men had cooties. But she also wasn’t going to tell him that she liked him or that his steamy make out session with Delphine bothered her. It’s not like he was ever Rey’s to begin with. Gross no. He was like her older brother when she really looked at it. Besides, Delphine really did sound lovely and perfect. But Rey still couldn’t help that annoying and nagging feeling of…jealousy? The conversations about their love lives (or lack thereof in Rey's case) had up until this point been very few and far between.  
  
“I’m destined to be a cat lady,” Rey sighed.  
  
“Cat lady?”  
  
“Yeah. Like I’m going to have nobody but fifty cats to keep me company when I’m older.”  
  
“I highly doubt that. You’ll find someone.”  
  
“Easy for you to say,” Rey muttered. “You have Delphine.”  
  
“We are _just friends_."   
  
"For now."  
  
"She bested me for once when we were training... We'd been training for almost two hours at that point and just...we were laying on the floor and I'm not even sure who kissed who first. It all happened so fast," said Ben reliving the moment in his mind.   
  
Rey scrunched up her nose. “Well it's obvious that however it happened, whoever initiated it doesn't really matter. What matters is you had your first kiss. And you liked it. You also talk about her. A lot.” Rey rolled her eyes at the last sentence.  
  
Ben sat up. “Do I?”  
  
“It’s not a bad thing,” Rey blurted. He looked at her curiously and she sighed. Was he - a fifteen year old - seriously _this_ clueless when it came to feelings? Rey thought about all the times he'd mentioned Delphine. “She challenges you.”  
  
“How so?”  
  
“You told me she’s your match in almost every class and that she’s your favorite sparring partner. She makes you push yourself beyond your limits which is helping you become an even better Padawan. It’s also the way you talk about her. It’s that look in your eyes. You say she talks to you even though her friends don’t. That she makes it a point to sit with you during meals. And that sometimes she comes to you for help on stuff she already knows. It’s just to spend time with you. And now you’ve finally kissed which to me is a pretty big step.”  
  
Ben had gone completely silent. Rey wondered if he was even still there. But she couldn’t hear the rain or thunder so she knew he was. She turned her head to find him looking at her, his cheeks were a little red.  
  
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I didn’t realize how much I talk about her.”  
  
Rey shrugged and laid back against her pillow, shutting her eyes to keep the tears from coming out. “Don’t be sorry, Ben. If she makes you happy, then that’s all that matters.”  
  
There was an uncomfortable silence that followed and she willed him to leave. She desperately wanted to hear the thunder.  
  
“You make me happy, too, Little Queen.”  
  
His words shouldn’t have hurt so much. He was _five_ years older than she was. A _teenager_. Who was only three years away from being an _adult_. Rey was still a _child_. She knew she shouldn’t care and should just be happy that he was happy. She’d always had a feeling Ben had a crush on Delphine and it didn’t bother her until Ben said they kissed. His _first kiss_. Wasn’t that supposed to mean something?  
  
“It’s different,” Rey said, quietly. “Anyway, it’s past midnight. I need some sleep. You do, too.”  
  
Ben watched her for a moment wondering what was on her mind. Without realizing it, she’d built up a strong enough barrier that even he couldn’t read her thoughts.   
  
“Sweet dreams Little Queen.”

* * *

A few days after Rey turned eleven she decided to finally tell Helen about Ben. Helen was, after all, the older sister Rey never had as well as the mother Rey had lost. Surely, Helen would understand.

* * *

After heavy questioning from Helen, a long discussion with Rey’s father via Skype (since he was of course on another overseas business trip without her), a phone call to local law enforcement (because maybe Ben was an unwelcome houseguest secretly living in the attic) and a two hour session with a child psychologist…it was decided that:  
  
1\. Rey had an over active imagination  
2\. Rey was having some type of mental breakdown brought on by the internalized grief of losing her mom  
3\. Rey made up Ben and his world as a coping mechanism for her loneliness  
4\. Rey had some type of cabin fever that was giving her hallucinations  
5\. Rey was simply a nutjob  
  
Or that Rey was a mixture of all the above.  
  
Every phone call Helen made, every house call made by a psychologist, every conversation behind a closed door, Rey would always listen intently. She never heard full sentences or conversations, but heard enough to know that they were trying to find somewhere to send her. Somewhere that could "fix" her even though she wasn't fucking broken. Helen started hovering around Rey and moved into the room across the hall. She even removed Rey’s bedroom door after she assumed Rey was talking to herself. Ben was there, but quickly left when Helen knocked on the door.  
  
Rey was prescribed some medication to help her supposed mental illness. She hated it. It made her feel weird, like she wasn’t even herself. Even Ben noticed her signature in The Force was weaker. It didn’t shine as bright and moved around slowly. Almost as if it were in pain.  
  
Eventually, Rey started throwing the medicine away in doses to make it seem like she was taking it. And everyone around her was none the wiser.

* * *

“They think I’m crazy,” said Rey, pulling her blanket tighter around herself.  
  
When Ben appeared, she was standing across the room with her back to him staring out the window. It had been a month since the shit hit the ceiling fan. Their conversations in that time had been very few and far between as well as short. Ben was grateful that Helen was asleep now so they'd finally have more time to talk. Rey assured him that she'd be asleep for many hours. But Rey wouldn't tell him it was because she slipped some crushed up Ambien into Helen's tea and felt zero remorse about it.   
  
“Crazy?” Ben asked.  
  
“Everyday my therapist comes to visit, she tries to get me to erase you from my mind. It doesn't ever work," Rey laughs a little. It wasn't a happy laugh. Not by a long shot. "A couple of weeks ago, a priest came out to bless our house because Helen thought maybe I was being haunted by a demon. But you're no demon. I had imaginary friends before I met you. They were definitely made up. And ridiculous. But you aren’t. Everyone always gives me these looks. Like I'm some sort of freak at a sideshow. And I know what they say about me when they think I can't hear them. That I've gone off the deep end.”  
  
She'd been careful to keep her face hidden. But he could sense the tears that she didn't want him to see. They were falling silently down her face. She hated crying in front of him. It always made her feel vulnerable and pathetic.   
  
“Rey, what are you not telling me?” Ben stepped closer and saw her tense up a little. That's when he saw the half packed suitcase on the floor.   
  
"They're sending me away. To a place by the ocean. I'll have lessons with kids my age and I'll still get to do gymnastics. My Dad promised he'd actually visit me. I'm going to have my own private suite. My own bathroom. There's even a maid, a personal chef and a butler. I won't be able to leave the building, but they have a swimming pool and a gym and an indoor courtyard. I'm thinking about taking up gardening. It will be good for me."  
  
The way she talked was unsettling to Ben. He could hear her sadness even though her voice barely wavered. It also sounded like she was saying these things out loud to get herself to believe them.   
  
"Rey..."  
  
“They're going to fix me, Ben. I'm going to get better."  
  
Ben frowned. "Fix you? There's nothing wrong with you."  
  
"Yes there is Ben," she finally turned around to face him and his heart broke. Her eyes were swollen. Red and puffy. As though she'd been crying for weeks. There were prominent dark circles under them from many sleepless nights. The brilliant hazel color of her eyes that used to sparkle and shine like the night sky were now dull and murky. Even wrapped up in a blanket he could tell she hadn't been eating much if at all. Her skin was sallow. She seemed to stare right through him. She was almost unrecognizable. "Don't you see? They're right. I'm fucking mental."  
  
“Don’t say that," Ben shook his head and stepped towards her again. "You aren’t.”  
  
“You were never real," Rey said as more tears fell and she stepped back. "Nothing between us was ever real.”  
  
“Rey…”  
  
She stepped back again, shaking her head and tears still pouring from her eyes. “No Ben. You can’t…you can’t be here anymore. I don’t ever want to see you again. Please leave.”  
  
At that, Ben stopped walking towards her. She didn't really want him to leave but for some reason wanted him to think that she did. He could feel her rapidly building up walls in that expanse of her mind. She was trying to push him out.  
  
"Rey please don't do this."  
  
"You made me go mad," she sobbed, her tone was accusing. "That wasn't supposed to happen. You were just a dream."  
  
They'd never been able to make physical contact before and he knew the last thing she would want in that moment was the very thing he wanted most. To hold her and tell her everything would be okay. That he would help her through this somehow.   
  
“Rey, please don’t do this," Ben said, as he felt his own emotional strongholds starting to falter.   
  
"If you care about me at all, you would leave," Rey started to shiver and cowered as though he would harm her.   
  
Her back was up against the wall and she watched him fearfully. That's when he felt his own tears. Salty and hot burning down his cheeks. Knowing he was the reason she was scared. He was the reason she was hurting. He was the reason she was crying. He was the entire reason everyone around her thought she was crazy and needed to be sent away to be fixed. It was in that moment, he realized how selfish he had been.   
  
He found Rey because he wanted an out. He wanted a savior. A light to drown out the darkness. But it couldn’t be Rey. As much as he wanted it to be, she didn’t deserve this. To be told she was crazy for believing in him. To be locked up somewhere he knew they wouldn't treat her right. She was a lonely little girl who appealed to the lonely little boy he was inside. Her beautiful imagination somehow bridged her world to his. But his prolonged presence in her life was causing her much more harm than good.  
  
"Ben, please," Rey cried. "Leave!"  
  
Ben held his hand out in front of him. Rey flinched. The last time he'd used The Force to put someone to sleep, he was sparring and backed into a corner. His Uncle Luke had not been very happy with his last minute panicked effort to best his sparring partner. And he knew Luke wouldn't approve of him doing that again now, but he needed Rey to rest. So he shut his eyes and used The Force to lull her into a deep sleep. Immediately, her eyes closed and she started to fall forward. Ben moved quickly to catch her hoping against hope... when her small frail body landed in his arms...he'd never felt such a rush of energy.  
  
The memories that had been lying dormant flooded his mind in rapid succession. Every empty plane, every inch of his consciousness became overloaded. And he remembered it all. The betrayal he felt. The destruction of the academy. Snoke. Falling under Palpatine’s control. Becoming Kylo Ren. The First Order. The Final Order. The battles. The injuries. Murdering his own father. Massacring innocents by the millions. Reeking havoc across the galaxy. Being selfish.  
  
But then...but then...there was Rey.  
  
Always there. In the back of his mind. Always just out of reach. Always believing in him. Asking him to fight alongside her and not against her. She was so much stronger and powerful than she realized. So much stronger and powerful than even he was. He also remembers her fear and loathing. Her broken heart. How with one look she could completely destroy him. He remembers sweet kisses, light touches, soft smiles and gentle whispers when no one else was around to bear witness.  
  
And he remembered now why he felt such a strong connection with this frail little girl in his arms. It's because he'd known her before. He loved her before. In another life. Another time. Another galaxy. He finally understood why he wanted her, needed her, _craved_ her. They were a Dyad in The Force. Something that hadn't been seen for hundreds maybe even thousands of years. A Force Bond so powerful that it spanned across space and time. There were no limits between the two that are one in a Dyad. One soul split between two bodies. _Soulmates_.   
  
Suddenly they were transported to the past. He was holding her lifeless body in Exegol. Palpatine and The Final Order had been defeated. They were surrounded by dust and ruins. Rey was lifeless in his arms and he remembered sacrificing himself for her. He remembered _that_ kiss. Her hands on his face. Her smile. Then his world going black.   
  
They were back in Rey's room again. She was still fast asleep. Ben laughed a little. How cruel fate was. Bringing them together again but in separate universes at such young ages. Too young to act on any feelings brought on by their bond. But Ben knew despite all that, he loved her then and he loved her now. He would never not love her. His scavenger. His light. His strength. His Rey. His Little Queen.   
  
They’d been given this second chance at life. Life together. Almost from the beginning. Before he was Kylo Ren. He had a chance now to ensure that the past didn’t repeat itself. He knew what he had to do and because of Rey, he felt like he had the strength to do it. He would tell Luke everything. They’d defeat Snoke and Palpatine before their reign of terror could even begin. He wasn’t going to let them ruin and control him this time around. And he certainly wasn’t going to allow himself to become Kylo Ren. No. This time would be different. Better even.  
  
He carefully stood up with Rey still in his arms and laid her on the bed. She stirred a little but remained asleep. He wondered if she'd wake up with the same knowledge he now possessed. When he returned, would she kiss him the way she had before his soul left his body for the World Between Worlds? Would she look at him with eyes full of the secret love and adoration nobody else knew about back then? The possiblities were endless.   
  
“I'll come back, Little Queen," Ben whispered. "I promise." Then he kissed her softly on the forehead before severing the connection.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Takes a deep breath* Yep. I did that. And only two chapters in lol but there's a method to my madness. 
> 
> I did want to say a few things about how I plan to move forward. There will be flashbacks of scenes from TFA, TLJ and TROS in the upcoming chapters, but since my story is AU I'm going to alter them to better fit my storyline. (AKA I'm going to make them more Reylo like they should have been to begin with lol) I am keeping Rey as Palpatine's granddaughter. And yes Ben has all knowledge of their previous lives (for now DUN DUN DUUUUUUN). I do not consider anything I just told you a spoiler lol because I have so many more twists to throw into the mix. Anyways...sorry for the word vomit XOXO
> 
> Kudos/comments are always appreciated <3


	3. Five years later

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long for me to update – I kept getting distracted as I usually do... This is a shorter chapter than the others and serves as a summary about what’s been going on in Rey’s life in the years since Ben severed the connection. Next chapter will get back to the Reylo interactions.

_She was standing in the middle of a battlefield surrounded by mangled bodies. Men. Women. Even children. The ground was coated in a mixture of blood and mud. The rain was a torrential downpour soaking through her clothes. The blood curdling screams of innocents being slaughtered echoed around her. The air was thick with the putrid smell of death. Rey could feel rage boiling up from the pit of her stomach as she stared across the dark expanse to those responsible for this kind of destruction._  
  
 _The Knights of Ren they called themselves. Heartless masked brutes in black armor and billowing capes holding blood stained weapons. One stood out from the rest. Towering over them like a King lords over his faithful servants. His weapon of choice was a crossguard lightsaber. It was the color of blood ignited and sizzled with fury like an untamed wildfire. He sliced through another victim before turning to face her._ _Rey wanted to run but felt rooted to the spot. He quickly advanced towards her, the other knights following close behind. Falling to the ground, Rey held up her arms in self defense as he got closer._  
  
 _Then her surroundings changed._  
  
 _Now Rey was in a forest. It reminded her of the one that surrounded her home, but something about it was unfamiliar. She was overwhelmed by the feeling that she was being hunted. In her shaking hands she held a blaster in front of her as she looked every which way. Anytime she heard a noise or saw something dark in her peripheral vision she took a shot, but never hit whatever it was she was trying to avoid._  
  
 _Suddenly, he appeared. Rey shot several times, but was never able to hit her mark. He easily deflected every blast sent his way. There was a boredom in the way he carried himself. As though he were undeterred by her attempt at aggressive defensiveness. It was in a clearing where he bested her. Rey suddenly found herself suspended in midair. There was an invisible hand around her neck making it hard to breathe. She couldn’t move, couldn’t even flinch. The masked creature stepped closer._  
  
 _“The girl I’ve heard so much about,” His voice was unsettling and sent chills down her spine. It was deep and robotic due to the voice modulator he used._  
  
 _Rey watched him fearfully, as he walked out of her line of sight. The hairs on the back of her neck stood and her heart was racing. Was this it? Was this the nightmare where he finally finished her off? What would that even feel like? Would she feel it at all? In previous nightmares, it always ended here. He’d have her within his grasp then she’d wake up._  
  
 _But this time was different._  
  
 _“The Orb of Passage,” he said from somewhere behind her. “I know you have it.” The end of his lightsaber came into view just shy of her throat. Rey shut her eyes. She could feel the heat radiating off his body as his mask bumped up against her earlobe. “Where is it?”_  
  
 _He finally came back into view and released whatever hold he had on her. Rey collapsed to the forest floor gasping for air. The creature knelt down as she scrambled backwards, only stopping when her back hit a tree._  
  
 _“I…don’t...know,” Rey choked out._  
  
 _“You…don’t know?” he tilted his head to the side, as he stood up to his full height._  
  
 _“I don’t know what The Orb of Passage is let alone where it is,” Rey slowly slid to a standing position, keeping her back to the tree. “And even if I did have it, I would never give it to you."_  
  
 _She crossed her arms and lifted her chin up a little in a show of bravery, even though she was anything but. He twirled his lightsaber carelessly. Rey kept willing herself to wake up as he pointed the end of his blasted saber between her eyes._  
  
 _“I’m done running and hiding from you,” Rey said through clenched teeth. “Just stab me already. Or torture me. I don't care. Just get it over with. End me now.”_  
  
 _He shook his head. “I'm here for one thing and one thing only."  
  
"Yes well obviously you're not gonna find it here so you might as well let me go."  
  
He continued looking at her and Rey finally felt brave enough to walk away. But as soon as she had her back to him, she once again found herself frozen in place. Unable to move except for her eyes which she rolled dramatically.  
  
"I'll let you go when you give me what I want."_  
  
 _He came back into view again. Rey wanted to see what sort of creature was hiding behind the mask. She wanted to know why he used a voice modulator. Perhaps he was some type of alien that was using a translator. And also what was his deal with this Orb of Passage? This was the first she’d heard of it. Lost in her thoughts, she didn’t notice how close he’d gotten until a gloved hand gently traced down the side of her face._ _She would've flinched if she could have. Instead, she shut her eyes tightly in response._  
  
 _She knew he was smirking despite his mask. “It’s time to wake up, Little Queen.”_

* * *

Abruptly, Rey sat up. Beads of sweat lined her forehead and her heart was beating so quickly, she felt like it was going to break through her sternum. A flash of lightning lit up her darkened room followed by a loud thunder clap that shook the entire house. It took her a moment to realize she was safe at home in her bed. She looked at her alarm clock and groaned. _5:42 AM_. Her alarm was set to go off at _6:00 AM_. There was no point in going back to sleep. Not if she didn’t want to be late for school.  
  
She made no moves to get out of bed and laid back down against her pillows to stare at the ceiling. It was the one thing in her room that had survived her transition from little girl to preteen to teenager. The only difference now was the glow in the dark stars she added at her first sleepover with friends almost four years ago. As she laid there, she remembered how much life had changed after her year long stay at Hope Haven when she was eleven.  
  
Rey and her father had gotten close in a way they hadn’t been since before her mom died. He stopped working and traveling as much just so he could visit Rey almost every single weekend as well as for her birthday and holidays. It was towards the end of her stay that her father surprised her by announcing that he and Helen were engaged. They were waiting for Rey to move back home before getting married. While she loved them both dearly, their engagement and impending marriage came as a shock and Rey still wasn’t sure how she felt about it.  
  
She was 12 when she was finally released to moved back home. Another big change besides her father and Helen getting married, was that Rey had been enrolled in the local private school. Gone were the days of private tutors. She even started taking gymnastics at the place where her private instructors taught. While Rey was excited to finally be around others her age, she was also nervous. She’d been alone all her life and worried about fitting in especially if anyone were to find out she lived a mental health facility for a year. To her surprise, she fit right in and nobody ever found out about Hope Haven.  
  
It felt good to finally have friends her age. She was no longer the lonely little girl who stayed home with her nanny. Now she had friends and even a potential boyfriend. Her father and Helen – however awkward it felt to Rey – were in a happy and healthy relationship. Life after rehab really had gotten better. But there were times in the silence that Rey felt as though something were still missing. In the very back of her mind there seemed to be a hidden area that she could never quite access. Dark. Empty. Cold. There were faint whispers that only came to her when she couldn’t sleep at nights. Then the nightmares returned when she was 15. And this time around they were much more frequent and realistic. In every single one of them, her masked tormentor said the same thing right before she woke up.   
  
_“It's time to wake up, Little Queen.”_  
  
Rey wondered why that nick name felt was so familiar. Outside of sleep, she knew that at some point in her life there was someone who called her that. Her father? No. Helen? No. Her friends? No. Someone else.   
  
_"I've come up with a nickname for you."  
  
"What is it?" Rey asked skeptically.  
  
"Little Queen. Because you're little and a Queen."_

* * *

**2 weeks (and several more nightmares) later**  
  
 _She was on the battlefield again, but this time there were no dead bodies or Knights of Ren._  
  
 _“Rey.”_  
  
 _Then she was in the forest without a masked creature hunting her down._  
  
 _“Rey.”_  
  
 _The forest quickly faded into a scene she didn’t immediately recognize. She was strapped to a cold metal table with a bright light shining in her face as though she were being interrogated. The room was all metal. Dark. Cold. And she was still all alone._  
  
 _“Rey, wake up.”_  
  
It was 2 AM when Rey’s eyes shot open. Her heart was racing and she groaned when she realized she’d fallen asleep with her contacts still on. She forced herself out of bed and shuffled into her bathroom. For a moment, she stared at her reflection in the mirror. Her skin was pale and there were prominent dark circles under her bloodshot eyes. She used foundation to hide the circles and Clear Eyes to get rid of the red. But neither of those things could mask her exhaustion. Her friends and family had taken notice. But Rey would always brush their concerns off by convincing them she was fine, she just had a lot on her mind. Even though things were not fine. Not since the nightmares had returned.   
  
"What's happening to me?" she said to her reflection.  
  
“Little Queen?”  
  
This time, it wasn't a whisper. It wasn't spoken to her by some faceless creature in a nightmare. No. This time it sounded like it was coming from her bedroom. Rey grabbed the closest thing to a weapon she could get her hands on which happened to be her hair straightener. She peered around her dark bedroom. The only light was from her bathroom. She knew the doors to the house had long since been locked and the security system set. It was virtually quiet save her racing heartbeat. There was a sudden chill in the air. The fine hair on her arms and neck stood on end. She gripped the straightener tightly with both hands, making her way slowly towards her iPhone where it was charging on her vanity just a couple yards away. She would use an app to set the home security system into panic mode which would then cause her father to wake up and be down in seconds with a gun ready to shoot any intruder on sight.   
  
Then it happened.  
  
A small blue light sparked to life on a hidden plane in the back of her mind. The once empty void seemed to be coming back to life. Every inch of that once darkened space was being illuminated. A new kind of warmth made it's way down to Rey's toes. The part of her she didn’t even know she was missing had returned. She froze when she saw him in the reflection of her vanity mirror. A ghost from her distant past that had once been a faint memory during her time at rehab. Someone she had been convinced wasn't real. Standing in the flesh on the other side of her bed as though he'd never gone away. As though he'd always been there.  
  
Rey smiled.  
  
“Ben.”


	4. Just for now, let's be happy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay so as you may have noticed - I changed the title and summary of this story. (Sorry for any confusion that may have caused) My reason for changing it? I didn't summarize it in a way that I liked the first time around. And I've been listening to The Devil's Tears by Angus & Julia Stone on repeat while writing and decided that holy shit this song is so Reylo so yeah here we are
> 
> Also, sorry that I am slow to update but I promise I will see this story through to the end. A lots been going on in the world. It just all feels so surreal. I hope everyone is staying safe and healthy <3

It had been years since Ben severed their connection and months since he’d started trying to reach out to her again. Rey’s signature in the Force had been hard to find. Somehow she was blocking him without even realizing it. It would be several months more before she dropped whatever barriers she’d unknowingly built up and that’s when Ben was able to finally get through. He found himself standing in the darkness of her room. The only light was coming from the bathroom. She was standing by her vanity staring at him. Unblinking. Unmoving. The smile that had been on her face mere seconds ago had warped into something else. Anger. Pain. Loneliness.  
  
His fault.  
  
_You did that. You abandoned her when she needed you most._  
  
Ben grit his teeth when he heard the accusatory voice of Palpatine that continued to haunt him. He managed to push the demeaning voice of darkness to the very back recesses of his mind, but every now and then it trickled through. After Ben severed his connection with Rey five years ago, he immediately went to tell Luke everything. Luke had been just as shocked as Ben to discover that somehow Rey and Ben had been reincarnated but in different universes. Then under Luke’s guidance, Ben completed his training and became an official Jedi Knight when he was eighteen. After that, he mended his relationship with his parents and set off to travel the galaxies with his father Han and Chewbacca on the Millenium Falcon. With the help of other Jedi Knights, his mother Leia, the Resistance and it’s many allies, they brought the First Order down.  
  
Getting to Snoke had been harder than expected, but eventually they tracked him down. Then Ben was able to single handedly defeat Snoke and his praetorian guards. All that remained of the darkness of his former life was Palpatine and the Final Order. Exegol had been more of a challenge to find despite Ben’s previous knowledge about its location. After weeks of coming up short, Ben took a break from his newfound mission to keep the past from repeating itself. In the dead of night, he locked himself in his room on the Millenium Falcon and began to meditate determined to see Rey again.   
  
She was beginning to make Ben nervous the way she was looking at him. He was trying to think of what he should say. There was so much he _could_ say. He knew what he _wanted_. He wanted to hold her in his arms again and tell her about everything that he'd been doing to right the wrongs of his past life. That Luke's Jedi Academy was still going strong and Ben was helping train the new generation of younglings and padawans. That this time around he didn’t let the darkness win. This time around he did not become Kylo Ren. There was no more Snoke or First Order. And the fall of Palpatine and the Final Order was imminent. He wanted – no _needed_ – Rey to know that they had been given a second chance and this time around, he wasn’t going to fuck things up.  
  
“Rey, I –“  
  
He was interrupted when she suddenly threw her hair straightener at him. He winced a little when it hit his shoulder and Rey frowned. “Wait… Did…did you actually feel that?”  
  
It was then that Ben remembered she didn’t know what he did. She had been asleep all those years ago when he realized they could make physical contact through the bond which also meant they could pass things through to each other and possibly even step into each other’s worlds.  
  
“Rey, please just let me explain. I –”  
  
“Explain what?” Rey shouted as she threw a hairbrush that bounced off his chest. “Explain why you decided to just disappear for _five fucking years_? I needed you Ben and you just abandoned me! I started to believe everyone. That I truly was going crazy. That sending me away to rehab for a year was what I needed to get better. That I had to forget about you. Why are you even back here? You should’ve just stayed the hell away!”  
  
By this point, she had thrown all kinds of things at him and he’d done nothing but stand there flinching when things hit him. Water bottles, a bottle of detangler, pillows, a cell phone charger, make up brushes, magazines, pencils, notebooks, her backpack…anything and everything Rey could find that wasn’t heavy, breakable or too big she threw. Finally, she stopped. Her eyes were wild and she was breathing heavily. “Why Ben? Why would you do that to me? How dare you. How dare you come back to me now. When –“ Suddenly, she felt frozen to the spot. She couldn't move anything. Couldn't talk.  
  
_“Wait. What the hell? Why can’t I move?”_ Her panicked thoughts came through loud and clear through the Force.  
  
Ben looked at her apologetically. He hated using the force against her, but he felt it was necessary. “Rey, I need you to listen to me.”  
  
_"Like hell I will! Put me down!"_  
  
"Will you promise not to throw things anymore?"  
  
_"Fat chance of that. Wait. Can you read my mind?"_  
  
"Yes, Rey. I can read your thoughts. Another gift of the Force," Ben sighed.   
  
_"Wait so is...is it you?"_  
  
“Of course it’s me, Rey.”  
  
_“No. Are you the masked creature from my nightmares? The one that haunts me and wants to kill me.”_  
  
At that, Ben released his hold on her. When Rey realized she could move again, she ran into the bathroom and shut the door. Ben could easily throw the door open, but decided against it. Coming back to her after being gone so long hadn’t been the right choice after all. But he was so blinded by his desperation to see her again he didn’t even consider what it might do to her. He had even ignored Luke’s warnings.  
  
_"Dark forces are at work here," Luke had said. "Until we figure out how and why you two were reincarnated, it would not be wise to return to her."_  
  
Ben walked over to the bathroom door and knocked lightly. “Rey?”  
  
“Go away, Ben.”  
  
Her voice was muffled, but he could hear the pain. Her walls were completely down. He felt everything. Her anger. Her confusion. Her sorrow. And something else… Ben reached for the doorknob, relieved to find it wasn't locked. Rey was sitting on the floor, knees drawn up to her chest, arms wrapped around her legs and face buried in her hands.   
  
“I said go away asshole,” she muttered.  
  
Ben didn’t go away, but he also didn’t move any closer. Instead, he waited. And he was resigned to wait for however long she needed. Even if she started yelling at him again. Even if she started throwing things. Hell, he’d stand there even if she started attacking him with intent to harm. He’d take it. He deserved it. But after only a few minutes, Rey finally looked at him. Her face was red, her eyes puffy and tears stained her cheeks.  
  
“You’re still here,” she frowned a little. There was just a hint of relief in her voice that made some of the tension in Ben’s shoulders disappear.  
  
“I wanted to apologize for leaving like I did,” said Ben carefully. “You have every right to be angry with me. And I don’t expect your forgiveness. But please understand I had my reasons.”  
  
“Reasons you couldn’t even talk to me about? I thought we were friends, Ben.” Her voice was soft. Her tone was accusatory, yet somehow held no venom. “You pretty much were my only friend at that point in time. Am I going crazy again? Am I still at Hope Haven? Am I…am I dead?”  
  
“No,” Ben knelt down beside her. “You’re not at Hope Haven and you’re not dead. You’re at home. Safe.”  
  
Rey studied him. Her hazel eyes wandering over the features of his face as though seeing him for the first time. She’d always thought he was cute, but that was back when she was still a child. Now she was a teenager and decided Ben was…handsome. Unconventionally so, but magnificent. His dark hair had gotten longer framing his angular face. His nose was still a little big but at the same time perfect. His lips were fuller and he was working his jaw a little. There were beauty marks and moles dotting his skin. He wasn’t perfect by some standards, but to Rey he absolutely was.  
  
Ben watched as she looked at him. He noticed her freckles were more prominent, dusting over her skin like constellations. Her cute little button nose crinkling slightly as a tiny smile formed on her perfect pink pout. Her perfectly shaped face was framed by strands of loose hair falling out of her messy bun. The way she was looking at him – no one had ever looked at him like this. Not in their previous lives, not in this life. It was a look of wonder and adoration.  
  
“I'm not dreaming," Rey whispered. "It really is you."  
  
“Yes,” Ben nodded. “It’s really me. I'm really here.”  
  
He reached out and gently wiped away the tears that still clung to her face. Rey briefly shut her eyes when she felt the rough pads of his fingers gently brushing down her cheeks. When she opened them, he was inches away. Years of loneliness and longing sizzled in the air between them. Ben had to draw on the Force for strength to not reach out and take her in his arms. Kiss her like they’d done before in the past. And never let her go.  
  
Ben hadn't known what would happen when he finally appeared to her again after all this time. Her anger had been expected, but the way she was looking at him now was not. It was apparent that she still didn’t have any knowledge of their past lives like he did. But it was almost as if she could at least still feel their strong connection as the only Dyad in existence.   
  
She started crying again and this time Ben allowed himself to reach out to her. She let him pull her to him, burying her face in his neck and clutched his tunic. He held her closely, resting his head on top of hers. He shut his eyes and remembered another time holding her thinking he’d lost her. How he’d somehow miraculously crawled out of that godforsaken pit. He remembers the panic he felt when he could no longer feel her. He remembered seeing her lifeless body and his sole thought in that moment was to get to her and make her whole again. Bring back that beautiful light that shined only for him. Something he'd chased after all his life long before he’d been aware of her existence. He refused to lose her then and he refused to lose her now.  
  
“I’ll never leave you like that again,” he said into her hair. “I promise.”  
  
Rey’s grip on him tightened and the tears kept falling. It would be a long while before the crying stopped. But Ben didn’t dare let go. Not even when sleep had taken over her and she’d gone limp in his hold, snoring lightly. He finally forced himself to gather her in his arms and put her on the bed. She curled up on her side facing away from him with a content smile on her face.   
  
“Sleep well Little Queen,” he said before kissing her forehead and disappearing.

* * *

The next day, Rey peeled her eyes open. She was sprawled across her bed facedown. It was the first time in a while she'd gotten such good sleep. As she rolled onto her back, memories of the night before flooded into her mind and she quickly sat up.  
  
“Ben?” she looked around.  
  
Was he really back? Or had it been a cruel dream after all? Then she noticed the pile of random objects on the floor and smiled a little in embarrassment remembering how he stood there letting her yell and throw things at him. She remembered running into the bathroom but not locking the door hoping he’d come in there after her. And he did. She wanted to see him again. Find out where he’s been all this time. Tell him all that’s happened while he was away. How she was better. How much she missed him and how –  
  
The smell of blueberry pancakes, eggs and bacon filled the air and her stomach growled. Rey slipped on her pink fuzzy slippers and wandered downstairs. Her father was sitting at the table reading the newspaper, while Helen was in the kitchen piling pancakes on a large serving platter. Rey stood in the doorway for a moment gawking at the breakfast spread. Besides the eggs, bacon and pancakes that had originally gotten her attention, there was also toast, fruit, muffins and carafes of juice.   
  
"Not that I'm complaining, but what's the occasion?" Rey finally spoke up.   
  
"Oh hey there," Helen smiled. "Did you sleep well?"  
  
Rey nodded, as she sat next to her father. “I slept better than I have in a long time.”  
  
“Were you up late talking to your friends?”  
  
Rey smiled a little when she thought about how Ben was back and nodded. Helen sat down on the other side of her and they all started putting food on their plates.  
  
“How’s Asher?” asked her dad.  
  
Rey felt her cheeks turning red. “He’s…good. We’re going to the movies tomorrow night.” Helen and her father exchanged knowing glances and Rey frowned. “What? Why do you always look like that when I talk about Asher?”  
  
“You guys have been hanging out a lot lately,” her dad pointed out.  
  
“Yes, because we’re _friends_ ,” Rey said, as she shoved eggs into her mouth.   
  
“I’ve seen the way he looks at you,” her father pointed a piece of bacon at her. “That boy likes you.”  
  
“Dad…” Rey muttered.  
  
“I like him. He’s a good kid. Comes from a good family. If you were looking for my approval, you’ve got it.”  
  
“Yes well I wasn’t but thanks,” Rey rolled her eyes. “Thanks for making breakfast, Helen. It all smells and tastes amazing. As always."   
  
“You're welcome,” Helen smiled.   
  
A few moments of silence passed between them while they ate. But Rey kept catching Helen and her dad exchanging looks with each other.   
  
"Is...everything alright?" Rey finally asked.   
  
"You remember I fly out later today?" asked her dad.  
  
“Where is it you’re going again?”   
  
“Barcelona. And a few other cities after that.”  
  
Rey paused mid bite and looked over at him. “And how long will you be gone this time?”  
  
He sighed and looked at Helen, who gave Rey an apologetic smile. “That’s what we wanted to talk to you about.”  
  
Rey frowned. She didn’t like the sound of that.   
  
Her father sighed. “I own a lot of property over there. In France, Italy, Spain... There's several developers and potential buyers needing to meet with me. If all these deals go through I could retire as soon as next year.”  
  
“Okay great, but how long will you be gone?”  
  
Her father looked at Helen again before looking back at Rey. “Two months.”  
  
Rey’s eyes nearly popped out of her head. “Two months? Not two weeks? _Months_??”  
  
“Rey –“  
  
“Can you not do this over Skype? Why two months?”  
  
“It's complicated. So many different people and companies to meet with, paperwork to sign and -"  
  
“Is Helen going with you?”  
  
Helen shifted uncomfortably. “Yes. I will be going with him.”  
  
Rey looked at both of them, suddenly not hungry anymore. “When did you decide this?”  
  
“We’ve been toying with the idea for a while and…well she’s never traveled out of the states and –“  
  
“I’ve never been to Italy or France or Spain,” Rey crossed her arms. “In fact I've never really been to most of the places you've traveled to."  
  
"Rey -"  
  
"Maybe I could go, too. I could use a private tutor or do classes over Skype. I could –“  
  
“Rey. I’ve already looked into it. I'm traveling around from city to city so often, it would just make more sense for you to stay here. Besides, you’ve got your friends and gymnastics to keep you busy. Lydia Morris has agreed to stay with you while we’re gone.”  
  
Rey had nothing against the eccentric woman who lived down the mountain from them. But she didn’t like the idea of being without her father or Helen for two whole months. Sure, she could talk to them via Skype and would probably spend more time than usual hanging out with her friends, but she still felt blindsided.  
  
“Why didn’t you talk with me about all this?” she asked. “Why did you make this decision without my input?”  
  
“We honestly didn’t think you’d mind,” said Helen.  
  
Rey stared at both of them before standing up and heading for the stairs.   
  
“Where are you going?” Helen asked.  
  
“For a jog.”  
  
Rey ran up the stairs to her bedroom, trying to keep her tears at bay while she changed into her running clothes. The cool mountain air felt good against her skin and she breathed in the smell of forest and earth. She started down her usual trail that led to a large cliff overlooking the Smoky Mountains. It was a six mile run round trip. Enough time for Rey to clear her mind. Sometimes, she would go to the cliff just to watch the sunrise or sunset. Many times, she would go to stargaze. It was up here on the cliff where she had her first kiss and eventually first heavy make out session with Asher. But her dad and Helen would never know that.  
  
Asher and Rey weren't officially a couple, but according to everyone else they were. They spent almost every bit of free time together. And when they weren't together, they were texting or video chatting. They'd fallen asleep while on call multiple times. He was her closest guy friend. The kind of guy girls were falling all over themselves for. Light brown hair, striking green eyes, a perfectly dimpled smile. He knew how to make her laugh and how to comfort her when she was upset. He was the only one of her friends she finally told about her stint in rehab and he didn't judge her. It made him want to be around her more to make sure she was okay. He was everything Rey _should_ want in boyfriend.  
  
But he wasn't Ben.   
  
Rey continued running along the trail watching her surroundings. In all her years of running, she'd never encountered anyone or anything but she was always alert. But today all that would change. She caught a glimpse of something just through the trees to her right. She slowed down and squinted. For a moment, she thought she saw someone standing a few yards away wearing a dark brown cloak. But just as quickly as she'd seen them, they disappeared into the trees again.  
  
Shrugging it off as an overactive imagination, Rey resumed her run and took a break once she reached the cliff. She steadied her breathing while she did some stretches and looked out over the distance. A blanket of fog settled on the valley below. Part of her hoped that Ben would appear so he could see this view. She made a note to bring him here someday so that he could. Maybe they could even stargaze together. There had been many nights where she pretended he was with her. Pretended that he didn’t exist somewhere outside her universe. The sound of twigs breaking and leaves crunching from somewhere behind her had her whirling around. There was someone running off through the trees. A blur of dark brown.  
  
“Hey!” she ran after them. “Hey wait!”  
  
She tore through the trees off the beaten path ignoring the twigs that pulled at her. She dodged low hanging branches and jumped over bushes.Whoever or whatever it was maintained their distance, but every now and then Rey would catch another glimpse of them. It was definitely someone wearing a dark brown cloak. The hood had fallen off revealing grey hair.  
  
"Pretty quick for an old man," Rey muttered through clenched teeth.   
  
Soon, she found herself in a clearing. It was a perfect circle of green grass dotted in strange plants she'd never seen before. In the center was a weird rock formation. Rey frowned as she looked around.   
  
“Hello?” she called. “I know you’re here. I saw you! I mean you no harm! And I hope you do not wish to harm me. But I do have a pocket knife and a can of mace and I’m not afraid to use either!”  
  
She was lying of course, but still wanted whoever it was to know she wasn’t an easy target. Her eyes continued to search the area, but all she saw now was forest. And all she heard was her breathing, her heartbeat, birds and the rain that had started to fall.  
  
“Shit,” she muttered, as she took off running towards the house unaware of the curious blue eyes that watched her go.

* * *

It had been a week since Rey's father and Helen left for their two month long trip. Though she was still a little upset with them, Rey was glad she stayed home. Lydia was an excellent cook and kept the house clean. It was as though Helen didn’t leave. She also gave Rey the space she needed to finish homework and hang out with friends. It had also been a week since Rey had seen Ben. But she somehow knew he would come back and that it wouldn’t be another five years before he did. Sure enough, she was in the greenhouse cutting baby tomatoes off a vine when he appeared.  
  
“Hey you,” Rey smiled without even looking at him.  
  
“How did –“  
  
“Just a feeling,” she shrugged. “It’s not like it was before when I would get headaches and couldn't hear anything else. It's just a dull hum in the back of my head now."  
  
Ben nodded. “You’re getting used to The Force.”  
  
“Guess so.”  
  
“Where are you?” Ben looked around the unfamiliar place she was in.   
  
“A greenhouse,” said Rey. “My dad had it built while I was away.”  
  
“So you took up gardening after all.”  
  
Rey nodded. “Whenever I felt overwhelmed, they would take me to the greenhouse. It was a lot bigger than this one. There were so many flowers and vegetables. I hated it at first. Killed a few plants. But eventually it became one of the only things that truly relaxed me.” Ben watched as she worked carefully to cut tomatoes off the vine. Soon her little basket was filled to the brim and she stood. “Looks like that’s it for today.”  
  
But instead of leaving, she stayed where she was, the basket of tomatoes forgotten on the ground. They were surrounded in companionable silence looking everywhere but at each other. Ben's eyes settled on the rose bushes at the back of the greenhouse and walked towards them.   
  
“Are these your favorite kind of flower?” he asked.  
  
Rey nodded. “I know it's cliche, but I love roses. Always have. There's so many colors and they each represent something." She pointed at some roses that were white on the outside and red on the inside. "These are my favorite kind of rose. Fire and Ice. Also known as the Vampire Rose."  
  
"And what do they represent?"  
  
Rey blushed a little. “The Heat of Passion. But also rebirth and resurrection. They're called Vampire Roses because of the white of innocence and the red color of blood.”  
  
Ben nodded thoughtfully and looked at her. "I'm glad you're doing better."  
  
“Yeah. Being at Hope Haven was good for me. Not nearly as bad as I thought it would be. I did miss you and I’m still a little pissed that you just ghosted me.”  
  
“Rey, I’m –“  
  
“No. What’s done is done,” she said. “My psychiatrist told me to let the past die. Kill it if you have to.”  
  
Ben frowned when he recognized those words. His words from a past life. A life he didn’t want to repeat. Rey pulled a fire and ice rose off the bush and turned to him.  
  
“May I?” she asked, motioning towards his hair.  
  
Ben nodded and tilted his head down so she could reach it. She snipped off part of the stem before gently placing the rose behind his ear. Carefully, she arranged his hair around it and stepped back with a smile.  
  
“Now you look pretty,” she said.  
  
“I wasn’t pretty before?”  
  
Rey smiled as she reached up to fix the rose that had fallen forward. When she was done, she didn’t pull away. Instead she let her hand fall until her fingers were touching his cheek. Then slowly, gently, she began tracing over his face. Across his eyebrows and down his nose. Over the imperfections of his skin that he always hated. Feather light touches as she explored his face as though trying to memorize it. Ben’s heart was pounding in his chest.  
  
“What are you thinking about?” Rey asked quietly.  
  
“About how much I missed you.”  
  
Rey paused and dropped her hand down, taking both his hands in hers. “I missed you too.” Then she stepped so close, there was barely any room between them. “Is this okay?”   
  
Ben swallowed and nodded. “Uhm yeah this is uhm…this is fine.”  
  
Rey nodded then leaned her head against his chest, a content smile on her face. "Can I read your mind the way you read mine?"  
  
"Yes you just need to focus."  
  
Rey took a deep breath and shut her eyes. _"I'm glad you came back."_  
  
_“I was always going to come back.”_  
  
_“It’s been five years, Ben.”_  
  
_“I know. I’m sorry.”_  
  
_“Stop apologizing. Just let me vent sometimes.”_  
  
Ben nodded then wrapped his arms around her, inhaling her scent. Earth. Roses. Vanilla. He wanted to kiss her. Drown in her. Get lost in her. All his life past and present, he’d never known the loving touch of another. Briefly, he thought he had that with Delphine but he was young and stupid. It hadn’t taken him long to realize Rey was the only one he’d ever want or need in any timeline. But then he’d fucked off for five years believing it was for the best.  
  
“Why is the Force connecting us?” Rey broke into his thoughts, though her voice was quiet. “I feel this connection with you that I can’t explain. I felt it even back before you left. It’s always been there. Even while you were gone.”  
  
“No one’s ever really gone,” Ben muttered. “There are a lot of things about the Force even I don’t understand and I’ve been studying it for a better portion of my life.”  
  
It was a lie. He knew exactly why she felt this way. It was the exact same way he felt. And that’s how it was always supposed to be. No matter where they were in this life and the next, they would always be part of each other even if they couldn’t be together. But now was not the time to explain it all to her. There was still so much that needed to be done before Ben would want to even begin to try and make her understand. So for now, he held her closely letting himself drown in her presence.  
  
There was something in the air that surrounded them. It was on the tip of Rey’s tongue. On the edge of her lips. But she kept it from spilling out. But Ben felt it. He didn’t need to put a name to it. He just knew. In his arms, she was happy. Warm. Protected.   
  
Loved.  
  
Ben could feel Luke searching for him. They’d been preparing for weeks…months. Rallying their allies. Training for the Final Battle. It was time to find Exegol, end Palpatine and bring down the Final Order. Then he’d come back to Rey and make up for lost time. But for now, he held her. Because they were finally together as they always should have been.  
  
For now, they were happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for your continued patience support <3


End file.
